I am always shocked at how the older I get, the faster time seems to go. I'm always feeling that time crunch. Tomorrow my baby will be 7 months old. What?? Where did my little newborn go? I watch the girls growing up at the speed of light. I blink my eyes and I've missed something.
I have to admit, parenting can sometimes be draining, and frustrating. However, my tired eyes love to watch them with each other. I love the crazy things they say to me.
I also seem to have much parenting guilt. I often wonder if I'm just too selfish to be a decent parent. I love my girls and I want the world for them, but there's also so much that I want to do. I have a terrible time balancing between giving my time to them and to myself. It seems a fine line. I want to be a good role model for them. I want to show them that I can do anything that I set my mind to do and so can they. I knit, take photos, create school lessons on the computer, I go out with friends, I read, I renovate, I cook. I want to create independent children. But sometimes I wonder, while I am doing these things, are they feeling like I'm ignoring/neglecting them? Am I? I read a lot of other blogs. Seriously, where do these people get the time? I feel terribly inadequate. The things mothers do with their children amazes me. First of all, who cleans up after all the playtime? I see the pictures - tidy houses. How does that happen? My house is in a constant state of chaos. 3 kids, 3 hairy pets. Frankly, I'd need a live-in house cleaner (wouldn't that be nice!!).
Okay, I have no idea how I got off on that little tangent. What I wanted to say was - my maternity is flying by. My baby is 7 months old. Work is approaching faster that I could ever have imagined. I'm taking a course at Western over the summer, so I thought I would start planning my year now. My goal is to have a lot of my SMARTboard lessons created so that I won't have to spend endless hours at night after the kids are in bed. So far so good. I really like the creative process involved in making each of the lessons. Week 1 done. :-)
I'll leave you with this:
Breathe in the salty fresh air.
You have to remember that half of the blogs you see with the tidy houses are not the kind of mommy you are (plus they probably have cleaning people!). Instead of watching mom knit, read, cook and learning independent creativity, those other kids are learning that cleaning is more important. (Or learning to be uptight is how I see it). I would rather see a mom doing things that make her happy and teaching that love of creativity and independence than see a spotless house.
Plus cleaning, it's that what husbands are for? :P
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